Dogs may not have words, but their facial expressions and body language say everything we need to know. However, if they could actually speak, what would they have to say about their humans? One Instagram video brings that idea to life, with a dog humorously listing his owner’s most annoying habits.
Dog calls his owner ‘needy’ and ‘toxic’ in funny video
Dyce the Rottweiler has a lot to say about his human. The video, shared by @dycederottweiler, begins with a voiceover of the dog reading the text: “Things no one tells you about getting a hooman.” As Dyce proceeds with his list, it quickly becomes clear that his human has a lot to answer for. First, he complains about his owner being “needy,” as the clip shows his owner trying to snuggle with him. Dyce’s expression clearly screams, “OMG, can I please get some space?” The onscreen text and voiceover humorously reinforce this sentiment, making it seem like the dog has just had enough of his owner’s affection.
Things only escalate from there. Next, the Rottweiler shares that his owner has mental breakdowns “like every other day,” with a clip showing her pretending to cry. Dyce paws at her, as if trying to comfort her, while his narration takes a sarcastic turn, asking, “Why did you get a dog and not a therapist?”
The video wraps up with Dyce’s ultimate complaint — his owner’s “toxic” habits. “They are toxic AF,” he declares as the video cuts to his owner snacking away, while the Rottweiler gives a look of pure judgment. “This girl eats 7 times a day and she never offers me a bite?” he quips. “And then she has the audacity to say that I’m chonky?” The punchline comes when Dyce, with a deadpan stare, says, “I may be colorblind, but I know red flags.”
The entire video is a perfect mix of humor, sarcasm, and those very real moments when our dogs might have their own opinions on how things should be run in the household. And for Dyce, it seems like he’s ready to call the shots.
